Well hello, and welcome back!

Well It was been awhile

Little did I know...

How busy college is

how quickly you can fall in love 

and out of love 

how different everyone's journey is

what my journey is. 

Little did I know how much I really know about myself.

It has been almost 3 years since James returned to My Heavenly Father..

I guess that's not very fair to those who are reading to wait that long.

Life is good, Complicated but good. 

Currently I am struggling with my stupid "t" button on my lap top 

who knew something so small could be so annoying.

It fell off and I tried to glue it back on which worked for a little while but now that isn't working either...

makes this whole typeing thing just a little difficult.

Recently President Monson announced an age change for sister missionaries 

you only need to be 19 to start your papers. 

Oh yea you better believe I hopped on that band wagon. 

But God has a way of His own. I have faced a few set backs 

some self inflicted from silly concerns and others that I have no control over. 

I kinda feel suck 

Stuck between two different worlds 

Two different Katy's 

both have their pro's and con's

one life choice: Stay, continue to go to Rexburg 

date 

get married 

get an education 

that whole deal 

another life choice: Go on the greatest adventer ever 

Spend 18 amazing months serving the Lord 

take a risk and take the plunge...

Obviously I want to go and serve 

But the set backs lately are really confusing and hard to face. 

watching all these wonderful girls get their calls no problem just slays me as I wait around for December to finally come!

silly me to ever ask for patience.

It was a confusing road even deciding if going was the right thing to do 

but I know that it is, and any trial God thinks is worth putting me through 

is worth going through with a smile cause in the end it will bring me closer to Him. 

In the end isn't that really the only thing that matters?

 

James Danger Sutherland: May 21,2010- December 31, 2010

On December 30th, 2010 the sun glistened brightly against the freshly fallen snow, winter birds chirped, exciting electricity weaved through the air, it was the end of an amazing year! Winter break was wining down, and new years eve parties were being prepared, what a day to join the Savior.
 James Danger Sutherland, rubbed his eyes sleepily far over due for a good nap, his faithful and happy mother trying to bake banana bread in the kitchen, his wonderful father in the other room working on his laptop continually preparing a life for his loving family. It was just a warm a normal day for the Sutherland's. Stubborn little James refused to take a quiet nap and his busy body parents needed him to be happy and excited later in the day so they knew the nap would be necessary. they wrapped him up in a beautiful warm blanket and placed him in the crib. He cried for a few minuets but soon he was fast asleep.
An hour or so later Betty Sutherland his mother felt a prompting to go a check on her little baby, little James was face down and not breathing. They called 911 and performed CPR on his little body. At the hospital the skilled doctors worked quick and hard to save little James life. They were successful in bringing a heart beat back but brain activity was non existent and his lungs would soon fail him.
Little James had little hope at living, but we couldn't help but cling to what small hope there was. There was only so much UtahVally hospital could do for him. They Life Flighted him to Primary Children hospital, His family and loved ones in a dirty old suburban behind them.
It was late when we arrived, the doctors already at work found the same result if not in worse condition. It was time for baby James to join Heavenly Father. Everyone still clung to the small hope that was left and begged for a miracle, the medication that was keeping James heart pumping was starting to loose its effect and everyone in the room was starting to feel the fear and pain of losing someone so special and pure.
Around 11:30 P.M. the Doctors announced that there was nothing left they could do. James was going to pass on. They decided to stop the medications  and let his body finally rest. We all had our time to hold him and just cry,  hurt, and pray and at times beg for this all to be a horrible nightmare. James heart stopped at 12:43 A.M. on the very last day of the year. We all mourn the loss of the beautiful, adorable, stunning little boy. He was 7 months old.
I have a testimony that I will see that beautiful little boy again, My heart will heal and life goes on. I know God has a plan for all of us, and I feel the love that radiates from all the prayers and kind words of those who mourn for us and care so much. God is carrying us though this unbelievably impossible trial but all is well. Life is still good, Life is still wonderful, even if suffering is a huge part of it. In all I know that everything turns out for the better. Keep my family in your prayers, and love your loved ones for us.
There will be a viewing and a funeral on Wednesday in the chapel on 100 west. Times will be announced soon.                 

7 easy steps to A GREAT week!

1. Choose Sunday, that the week will be good NO MATTER WHAT happens.
2. Change something in your daily routine for the better. ex. reading scriptures in the morning instead of right before bed.
3. Monday morning, take a shower, dress up, look nice! Feel confident, confortable and HAPPY!
4. When something goes wrong or you mess up instead of thinking "the world is conspiring against you" think "the Lord is conspiring FOR you."
*!Quote time!* "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
5. Learn to laugh at your mistakes, and be your biggest fan. Always cheer yourself on when its hard and learn to love those who are hard to love.
6. SERVE OTHERS, and treat others how you would like to be treated. Do the little things for EVERYONE you see.
7. FLIRT, FlirT, FlIrT, fLiRt, fLIRT, FLIRT! Have a ball knowing your are beautiful/ handsome just the way you are. You are a masterpice of the most powerful Creator in the universe! And he Loves you...way more then I'm sure we will ever know here on earth! This is the only life you got, Live it up and MAKE IT COUNT!

What IS Thanksgiving without the people you're most grateful for?

As wonderful as my awseome parents are

I really miss my siblings

I see my parents every normal day of my life...

on a holiday that I count my blessings it really feels like half my blessings are elsewhere in this big world.

litterally the world! From Hawaii to Japan...and random but North Carolina.

Our big home is rediculouslty empty and being the only one home isnt all that its cut out to be.

the words from a favorite song brought tears to not only my eyes but to my mom's too.

"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love even more than I uaually do, and altho I know it a long road home....

I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas."

Wrong holiday I know but its the same idea.

My Christmas wish I really don't want to come true...

But I cant help but wish that ALL my family will be home for Christmas this year. 

In some small way at least... 

Betty, Kenson, and Elder Steven

I really really really

Miss and LOVE

YOU!

I stubbed my toe on the yellow brick road

Sooo...

On this journey of happiness called life...sometimes bad things happen that are not so happy. 

like not realizing you have work and finding out when your 2 hours late for your shift....

that was scary

but my coworkers are legit...and are a wonderful bunch of lovely girls that I love dearly! 

they calmed me down and made me realize everything will be OK.

of course being VERY late is not good at ALL and I know this and it wont happen that easily again.

Another random disappointing moment in life....

taking time to dress ridiculously cute the one day that "special kinda twiterpated crush someone ;)" is not around.

BLARG!

OH!

and then being called and "Eskimo slut"

yeah that was somewhat insulting...

then again my skirt was a little short...

BuT On ThE BRIGHT SIDE!

I got alot of my homework done!

And LIFE IS Fabulous!

:D there is always something to keep you excited and optimistic!

well...

tomorrow is another day we'll see how well it goes!

And so it starts

Wow...

I'm really not sure why I thought blogging would ease my stressed out nerves

but....

looks like its working fairly well.

I am an optimist.

K well I try to be.

usually...

but sometimes I really get tired of looking at the good in everything

or better yet...

 the fog lifts on cloud 9, and I realize how rediculous everything has turned out back on earth

and lucky me...I have run into a dead end, out of time, out of luck.

I hate that!

 I really do!

there is nothing in the world I can do at the moment in time

but not 3 min.

3 hours ago.

3 days ago!

I could have succsessfully avoided the whole situation!

...Curse you Karma...